The Hormone Highway... or, Love and Respect

Greetings, readers! I am happy to report that Elijah slept in his big crib for the first time last night. I must admit it was a little scary leaving him in another room - even if it is directly outside OUR bedroom - but we made it and he did great!

Last night was a Wednesday night and Brad dutifully went to orchestra rehearsal at church as he normally does. The entire hour before he left, I was breast feeding Elijah, then the little piggie cried for more.. then he cried for more.. then he cried because of a poopy diaper,.. then he cried because he was wet, then he cried because he was wet, then he cried because he was wet, then he cried because HE WAS WET!!! Have I mentioned that this baby is a pee factory?

Okay, on with the blog I meant to write..

I would just like to say that in the last 4 weeks - yes, its been 4 weeks since little Eli squeezed his way down the birth canal, and left his signature next door, that I have been on QUITE the emotional rollercoaster. I knew it would be considerabley noticeable that after giving birth, I'd have several emotional breakdowns just because I've never been just 100% together when under a lot of stress and pressure, but I just had no clue.

It all started to hit me the moment we started packing up our things to leave the hospital. I cried when I got in the truck, I cried in the drive through at Krystal's, and I especially had a nice hard, long cry when I walked into my forever-changed little condo and saw this freshly squeezed baby lying in that crib that had been waiting for him for so long!!!

Boohoo.

I cried when he wouldn't breastfeed right; he gets like a crazy wildman when he can't get it together in the feeding department! (The app doesn't fall far from the tree!) Oh! It was just crying off and on ALL the time for nothing at all!! The nurses told me I'd do that. I have no idea why I didn't believe them. Haha.

It last about 10 days - then we started to get into somewhat of a routine - we can NEVER be too routine - its not in our DNA, then life began to settle a little.

Its rough traveling on the Hormone Highway, which I have some to the conclusion that it was built by MEN!

Men have it easy. They take things as they are or blame us women for it. Simple. Women's brains never stop working and are constantly thinking of atleast 10 things at once. I took a brain-based learning course last fall at Union University and in the text book, which is in sight at the present because I loved that subject so much, there is plenty of research stating that men can ONLY think of ONE thing at a time. Its the way they are wired.

How did I get on THAT?

Brad picked up a CD at church the other day that was an excerpt from the Love and Respect conference that came to our church earlier this year. The speaker was talking about the neverending discussion of Women vs. Men. He said... "women look in their closets and say "I have nothing to wear!" when they actually mean, "I have nothing NEW to wear!" Men look in their closets and say, "I have nothing to wear!" when they actually mean, "I don't have anything clean to wear! She ain't washed my clothes!""

I have laundry to do.

Eli and the swing

Elijah is so sweet. He's spent quite a bit of time in this baby contraption that eats batteries like candy and plays really watered down music box versions of a couple Beethoven and Mozart piano pieces. But he seems to love the music. Ahhh. What a relief! He kind of had a "scrappy" day. Meaning.. he wasn't happy all the time.. he fussed a little bit. Not the whole the day... not like a week ago Sunday.. my Lord.. if today had been like that, I would have no hair left on my head. And neither would he for that matter. Even Brad might even have yanked out a strand or two of his precious tresses. But I digress..

It's 10:21pm on a Friday night. I've been sitting here doing homework on the computer - yes, something I really should have done MUCH earlier this afternoon - but I couldn't tear myself away from baby Eli. Actually, he couldn't tear himself away from ME. Finally at 4:30, we gave in, packed his little buns in the car seat and drove around for 2 hours. Hello, sleepy baby! Also, hello baby who will not sleep tonight! Haha.

Anyway, so in his sleepiness, we came home, I fed him while Brad ate supper, I ate cold mac and cheese much later, and then put him in his little swing while I worked on homework.

Here's to a night FULL on sleepy restfulness for ALL!

Factor Z

Today begins the 11th day of being home with Eli. We are actually getting some sleep! I can't believe it! Everyone kept telling me.. "oh, you'll never sleep again! Just get ready.. if you think you've been losing sleep now..." Please! I knew Eli would be the exception! Ha!

I better shut my mouth now before I jinx it.

We had had a couple of rough nights. It seemed as though little 7 pound Eli wanted to eat 7 pounds worth of breast milk each feeding - which took FOREVER! He was especially never satisfied in the middle of the night - of course. Breast feeding is SOME phenomenon! Let me just tell you, if you've never experienced breast feeding an infant before, its HARD! Well, its not that hard, but when the little bugger just will not cooperate even though he's plainly telling you he's hungry, then you want to throw his cute little butt in the garbage can !!! AGHHH!!

The first full day we were home, (Sat. Oct. 23) I had taken a couple of doses of hydrocodone (I guess thats how you spell it... thanks, kindergarten phonics) to ease a little pain I was having. Well, the next day - Saturday - little Eli was too drunk to function! He wouldn't wake up, he wouldn't eat,... so by 3pm when he STILL would not wake up to eat, I called the nurse. She said to force feed some formula down him just to keep him from getting dehydrated.

I thought - nope.. no formula for my baby! But alas, he would just not arouse to breast feed or anything, so we had to shove a bottle in his mouth and force him to eat. Turns out, the hydrocodone I was taking made him drunk! Geezz... why did they prescribe that to me? For goodness sake. So I suffered through pain so my three day old kid would not be buzzing on NARCOTICS!

Where was I going with this..?

Oh yeah, so we fed him with that bottle. It was terribly easy. AND we could make sure of how much he was actually ingesting. Hmmmm..... so with all of his little tempers he was throwing because he couldn't seemed to get "latched on" enough to breastfeed (he only did that in the middle of the night, naturally!), I thought, well, I can pump and he can just take it in a bottle.

We have done that for the last 48 hours, and my, my, my what a difference a bottle makes! I AM proud that I lasted until he was 10 days old to give him a pacifier or a bottle, but still. He breastfeeds when he wants to, and when he doesn't he has the mommy milk in his bottle. How perfect is that?? Temper-throwing does not occur in this house - baby or no baby, breast or bottle! Whew! Its completely NOT what I had planned on doing with him, but hey, you gotta do what works for you, right?

If I can sleep for 4 and 5 hours at a time, and so can Eli and Brad, hey, who's to say there's anything wrong with that? Everyone wakes up in a good mood and we all go on our merry way to have a fabulous day!

Cheers!

Deflation!

Attention everyone:

Another big exciting thing has occurred !

Towards the end of my pregnancy, I retained a TON of water and swelled up like Humpty Dumpty which means that my feet looked like little pillows. They would not fit in any shoes except for purple fuzzy slippers that belong to my mother. You can imagine what those shoes look like..

Anyway, so as of yesterday, my feet had completely gone down and I got to fit them into my favorite shoes!!! My confetti Danskos!!! Yay!

The BM degree

When I graduated from college, I earned a BM degree - Bachelor of Music. I think I'm working just as hard to earn another kind of BM degree..

I'm guessing anyone who will read this is A) a family member; B) a friend, ; or C) someone interested in baby blogs. With that disclaimer put forth, I am happy to say that I just gleefully announced to my household (which includes my snoozing great dane, my working husband in his office, my sleeping 9 day old baby, and my grand piano - who yes, understands my every thought) that I indeed just had a more or less pain free bowel movement!! Hooray! Cause for celebration! Pop open the bubbly... or not..!

Maybe some of you seasoned mothers can fill me in.. but as of right now, it has been 9 days since I delivered Eli. Why am I STILL having such an issue with constipation?? (Now I really must apologize for this blog... so sorry, but this is what I need to discuss today.) Like I mentioned in my previous blog, I have stitches from NYC to Miami and it has been a rather wild and crazy ride trying to rid my body of things that previously worked quite well! I'm just so confused. I have been trying to eat high fiber things, no bread, not much cheese, and lots of fruit... but still.., the suffering still comes. I'm even on SIX colace a day!

Brad maintains, with all his medical degrees and experience he has..., that I am not staying hydrated enough. I've never been a water drinker... heck, I sometimes think water tastes bad! Especially if its room temperature. But I don't like it with ice either. Water just tastes funky to me... and my sweet husband says.. "Taste? Water doesn't have a taste! How can you say it tastes bad??!!" I guess thats why I really don't like it. Where's the taste? Anyway... so today, I'm trying VERY hard to drink as much water as my tummy (and my taste buds) can stand. We will see if it makes a difference.

Any suggestions?

Here comes Elijah!

At 3:00 on Wednesday, October 20, 2010, my husband Brad and I became parents. Whoa. First of all, I never ever expected to be able to say that. Back in 2008 we decided that maybe we'd like to see if we could get pregnant, so I abandoned all forms of prevention, but we never really sat down to plan it out. Soon after that, my doc let me know that I have a condition called PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome - something that left us not knowing if I was ovulating at all. We never tried and we never really gave up.

Last October when Brad's sister called to tell us they were having a baby, my heart broke. Well, it sang out in joy for Sara and Josh - it was obvious they'd make fantastic parents - but my heart broke for me and Bradley because I turned to him and said through my tears, "I'll never be able to call anyone and tell them that."

Lo and behold God had a different plan.

When Dr. Giddens held little Eli up in the air in all of his gooey and purpley glory (this was after he immediately popped out and peed on the Dr), what ran through my mind was something like, "oh. my. lord. what in the world did I just do?" They laid him on my chest, but I wouldn't touch him. I rubbed his little head through the blanket he was halfway wrapped in and then in a mighty swoosh Brad cut the cord and the next thing I knew Eli was over on the baby table being cleaned and wrapped up. It was SO fast!

What happened next - I'll never forget. I was somewhat versed in what happens when one gives birth, what happens after giving birth, and still what happens after that. But nothing can really prepare you for what you feel physically and emotionally. I saw Dr. Giddens with a pair of hemostats attached to what looked like metal string. I thought... "awww, man! she had to cut me!" Well, truth be known, the labor and his coming out party happened so fast that I had some pretty rad tears. Fourth degree to be exact. Ouchie. Big Ouchie.

My heart sank when she told me about that. She sewed on me for 30 minutes, but PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE EPIDURAL because I seriously felt nothing except the pressure of an event occurring in my netherlands. I was too preoccupied anyway... I mean, HELLO! This little being who drove me insane living in my uterus for 9 months was laying in the next bed screaming! I watched Bradley. That was sweet. He had the biggest smile on his face and, camera in hand, took some great shots of our little one moments after he was born. Bradley and I got a few seconds to lock eyeballs with one another. There were too many thoughts and emotions running through both of our heads to really nail down how we felt in that moment.

In an instant we went from being "Rachel and Bradley" to being "Eli's parents."

And so it goes..

Let me tell you about the year I've had:

Today is Wednesday, October 27, 2010. Exactly one week ago from this very moment, I was lying in a hospital bed just beginning to push. It had been quite a morning - we arrived at Baptist Women's Hospital at 4:30am.., well, I think it was more like 4:40am (must always be fashionably late..) to begin the long journey of getting our firstborn son - born.

2010 has been a whirlwind. I'm sure its going to continue to be a whirlwind. We learned on February 19 that we were going to become parents this year. I remember every detail of that afternoon and evening after finding out. I also remember every detail of the following day: when we told our families that we were expecting. The 20th was a Saturday - I had gone to Amro to a music competition that one of my piano students participated in, Brad was playing in the church orchestra at the Tennessee Baptist Children's Home, and then we decided to go over to Oak Court Mall to do a little celebratory shopping. We had lunch at Rafferty's across the street where Brad had some kind of chicken dish, then drove out to Germantown to the Apple Store to purchase me a new iPhone since my previous one died the day before. While in the Apple store, Brad started to have an allergic reaction to that chicken he ate, and so he ended up in the ER over at Baptist Hospital.

Fast forward 8 months through my entire pregnancy. The rest of February was fairly uneventful, March proved to show signs of being pregnant: a little nausea, headaches, terrible hunger, April and May flew by, and then June came. The weather was getting warmer and on June the 1st we found out the big news: its a boy. Elijah Freid Lawson Harrell was definitely in there cooking and on the way!

July was hot! Temperatures were near or over 100 for the entire month, which made for a VERY hot pregnancy. I could not get cooled off! I think I sweated straight for two months and even by sitting in the house almost completely naked with multiple fans pointed in my direction, I STILL sweated! Gah.

August arrived - the seventh month. I began a new job teaching school part time and continued with my part time church gig. An influx of piano students also came with the beginning of the new school year. Needless to say, I was a busy busy pregnant lady! Though it was rough, and I was tired, some days were 12 and 14 hour days, and I really was working seven days a week.

By the end of September, by very pregnant body was overly tired, my feet and ankles were the size of small watermelons, and my blood pressure was through the roof. Bed rest, she says! My "bed rest" started on September 29, 2010. I was finally able to take off work and raise my feet up to hopefully get them to go down. Turned out, bed rest WAS NOT easy. I probably did too much, went too much, and had too much fun, but the time off from work was absolutely wonderful in getting ready to meet baby Eli.

On my weekly visit to the doctor on Tuesday, October, 12 my doctor decided it was time and we set the date to be induced. I was ecstatic to know when Eli's birthday was going to be. I was also SO ready to not be pregnant any longer!

SO - here we are: last Wednesday. It happens to be 3:00 right now - exactly the time when Eli flew out of my body last week. The labor and delivery was quite easy. We arrived at the hospital at 4:30am, they finally got my rolling with "vitamin P" around 6:00am, and then the doc came to break my water at 9:15. Thats when the real fun began. As soon as she broke my water, whew!! Those contraction came FAST and HARD! I have NEVER been in such pain - I thought I was going to die. But luckily, a nice man with a big needle came to save the day. The epidural was fabulous. It worked beautifully - something that I was very afraid of to begin with.

By 1:45 I was fully dialated, and at 2:25, I began to push. Elijah entered this world on Wednesday, October 20 at 3:00pm, straight up.